Damn Dirty Sexist Bastards.

Okay. So, I'm sure you're all imagining "wtf? sexist bastards?" So, I think I should e'splain.
A friend of mine is in a band. A heavy metal band, might I add. Now, normally I don't sing much heavy metal (hardly any at all), but I really think I could do it. I've been able to handle anything that anyone can throw at me, so why not this? Anyway, so my friend asked me if I would sing in their band. I was like "Sure, why not?" So, today, my friend told two of the guys that are in the band with him that I might be singing with them. Those two guys go "If she sings, we're out."
Now, here's where it get's sticky. One of the guys is my ex-boyfriend, the one with whom I was having a very nasty email conversation with in the past (See "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People with All the He Said She Said" parts One and Two for more details.) So, he and I have a bit of a history, but we don't really have a problem with each other anymore. (So I thought...) The other guy is my ex's best friend. And when I say best friend, I mean one is stuck up the other's ass so far that the only thing hanging out is their toes. So if one goes, so does the other because apparently they don't have the capability to have their own personal opinions and they have to rely on each other to form a damn coherent sentence. Sorry, I got a little carried away. I do that when I'm rather angry.
I was told that they said that if I joined their heavy metal band that it wouldn't be like a real heavy metal band. Now, how the fuck did they come to that conclusion? I mean, that statement could be taken one of two ways, from how I see it.
One) They are damn dirty sexist bastards that think that girls can't handle heavy metal music
or
Two) They think that my voice SUCKS and they don't want to be a part of any project that would involve my vocal skills.
Either way, that totally fucking sucks and both are really STUPID reasons to just leave your friends that you formed a band with out to dry. I mean, who fucking does that? I'll tell you who does that: someone who is too stuck up to realize that a little more talent never hurt anyone. Someone who doesn't realize that GIRLS CAN DO IT JUST AS WELL AS GUYS CAN, DAMMIT, AND THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE THEM A FUCKING CHANCE BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO TURN TAIL AND HAUL ASS OUT OF THERE. STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE.
I honestly think that they were trying to say that because I'm a girl that I couldn't possibly handle what heavy metal has to offer. Bullshit. I can do it just as well as the next guy could. And honestly, I really think I could do it better than the one who has is head shoved up the other's ass.
And what honestly makes me laugh is that the other three guys in the band are IN LOVE with the idea of me singing. They think it'll be great! But these two damn dirty sexist bastards just have to come along and piss me the fuck off and tell me (well, really, tell my friend. he couldn't POSSIBLY have the balls to tell ME this) that they won't do something that they enjoy just because I'm doing it.
Ha, I just had a thought as I was writing that last line. What if they chose not to do something they enjoy anymore because I'M doing it. In which case, I have to say to them: FUCK OFF and get the fuck over yourselves. I have no damn problem with you guys, but you're going to go and fuck your friends over just because I'm there. That's fucking stupid. We are all almost adults here, and it's obvious who the more mature person is in this situation. Grow the fuck up, and get over your damn selves. You obviously don't know how stupid and fucking immature you sound right now.
I think I'm about done with all this now. I don't really have anything else to say, other than to tell those to to fuck off, and to tell the other guys thanks for thinking I can do it. Okay?
=]
Peacee.
-KayTay.

I'm Happy.

About damn time, too. =]]

Moment...

I so just had a moment. And not a very good one.
I realized (again) that I graduate high school next year. And, to be honest, that scares the living shit out of me. For pretty much all my years of exsistence I've been in school and I've always had something to do and always been told to do stuff and yada yada yada. As of May 22, 2010, that's no more. I don't know if I'm ready for that. And then, when I get to really thinking about that, I don't know what I'm ready for. I also don't know what'll happen to me after high school. I mean, you always hear about people leaving right after high school and going off and doing their own thing and all this jive, and never hearing from their high school friends ever again. I don't want that to happen. I mean, my high school friends are the awesomest ones anyone could ever ask for. I mean, I have friends that run into other people's classrooms just to get a phone number for me (jerkface. lol.) I've got friends that, even though they can be douchebags, are freaking hilarious to hang out with b/c they are always doing something retarded (I think I can forgive you now... I've got someone else to be mad at. haha. j/k about the mad part.) I've got friends who can laugh at the word "spoo-en" with me (or "Jesus Saves at Walmart"!!). All my friends are so friggin diverse that they keep all the random parts of me in check. I've got friends who do the greatest things for me, and I mean all of them at this point. They're all so great, and I'm just afraid that, after May 22, I'm never gonna hear from any of them again. I'm not gonna get to see them every day, and laugh at their stupidity every day. I don't know what my future holds, but I hope it holds the fact that I still talk to my high school friends.
I also had another realization during this moment...
I'm gonna grow up some day. I'm gonna grow up and be just as crabby as my mother and as goofy as my father (if I'm not already). I'm gonna be just as crazy as my sister, as retarded as my brother, make just as poor decisions as everyone in my family has before me. I want to be different, but we all know how well that's gonna work out. And, I mean, all I've ever known is being "a kid." That's all I've ever done, and I don't know how to do anything else better. I know I'm legally 9 months away from adulthood, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna BE an adult in 9 months. I'm friggin terrified to know what in God's name I'll become when I'm older. Who ISN'T scared of their future?

I'm NOT As Stupid As I May Seem...

Did you really think that you play me for stupid? I mean, really. I'm not as stupid as I may come off. I'm really not. Did you really think that you could get away with trying to go to prom with me, or whatever you may have been thinking, while you have a friggin girlfriend?
HAHA! You must underestimate me.
I have my ways of finding things out. I have my ways of knowing things. And I, unless you have forgotten, am a WOMAN, and can hold a grudge UNTIL I DIE. I've told someone else this before you, but hey, I'm gonna tell you too. I'm a woman who can hold a grudge. Don't think I'm going to forget this any time this CENTURY, really. I'm not even playing with you anymore. You arent worth my time, and I am so glad I found this out before I got in too deep. Thank God.
So yeah, I wouldnt even bother trying to do anything, like make amends. It would just be a waste of both of our time.
To the kidds who helped me find all this out:
THANKYOU!!!

What Happened to "Love Takes Time"?

I've always been more on the observant side. So, these past few months, I've noticed that many a person will start dating someone, and within a two week period, they will be claiming that they love such and such and that they are going to be with so and so forever. Now, call me old fashioned, but that just doesnt make ANY kind of sense to me. Since when do you know that youre going to be with someone forever in, say, two weeks? I mean, get real. That isnt love. That is lust. I mean, love isnt something that you can just fall into one day and fall out of the next. To really love someone, you have to know them for a while. You have to have been with them for a while. You have to pretty much know each other heart and soul. And, last time I checked, you cant do that in two weeks. Getting to know someone takes more than just asking them about themselves, or reading their "About Me" on myspace or whatever. To really know someone, you have to be able to say that when their laughing, they twitch their right eye or something. (I dont actually know someone that does that, I just made that up.) For you to be able to say you know someone, you should be able to tell me what they do when they fall asleep at night, or how they sneeze, you know, just the smallest things. Love is the same way. You have to know everything about that person, and, with TIME, come to love and cherish all those little things that they do, like twitch their right eye when they laugh. And when you're apart from them, you miss all of the little things that they do. Even the little things that drive you absolutely INSANE and that you wish they would stop doing. If you really think about it, if the person you loved stopped doing the things that annoy the piss out of you, you know you would miss them. That's what true love is. Looking past all the imperfections and the little things. Love the things that are perfect about somebody, because nobody is completely infallible.
And remember kidds, Love really does take time. You arent just going to find the perfect person for you tomorrow. (You might meet them, but you won't know that they are the perfect person for you until you actually get to know them). Knowwhutimsayin?

Overworked and Underpaid.

i hate feeling this overworked and i hate having to stay up til ungodly hours just to keep up with all the dang work. and thats another thing. im getting sick and tired of people telling me "if i can do it, so can you" because im not anybody else, i dont function like anyone else. so if you could do it it doesnt mean that i can. i am a completely different individual and i work in completely different ways than most people, so i dont see why if someone else can do it, why i can. i have different work habits, i study differently, i learn differently. i am soooooo ocd about what i do and it gets me so mad that people tell me "you can do it because i did it"
i mean, how stupid is that statement? "You can do it, I mean, I did it". C'mon, lets get real. im sick of it. just because you did something doesnt mean i can too. not eveyone is made the same way, we cant all do the same things you do. it just makes me sooooooo mad when people tell me that. i cant always do what you can. thats why i ask you for help.
i am just so sick and tired of being tired and feeling overworked and always feeling like im on the verge of crying because i cant finish anything because i dont have the time. i dont have a life anymore b/c im always doing school work. im sick of it. i want out of one of my AP classes b/c i really cant take the work load. i am NOT capable of it, no matter what anybody says. i always like to have my work in on time, but i have had so much of it lately that i cant handle it anymore. i mean, i can sit on my butt for five minutes and have three nights of homework to do. i know i signed up for this, but idk if i can take it anymore.

I'm Sick and Tired

of hearing about people's "love stories". i mean, for real, im happy for yall, but you dont have to talk about it every single minute of every single day. it gets old, and all us SINGLE people out here get tired of hearing about how you and your love did this yesterday, or how you and your love are going to do something later. i dont want to hear it, and im sure im not the only one!
my best friend is dating this guy, and i honestly almost cant stand to hang out with the two of them. ever heard the expression "third wheel"? well, i know all too well what that feels like now. its not very fun. sitting somewhere hanging out and then all of the sudden they start sucking face. it gets kinda old. and it REALLY gets on my nerves when im trying to have a conversation and then i have the sudden urge to HURL. it's not all that fun.
so here's to all you "love birds"...
keep your love lives to yourself, because i know that i DO NOT want to hear about it.
okay?