Moment...

I so just had a moment. And not a very good one.
I realized (again) that I graduate high school next year. And, to be honest, that scares the living shit out of me. For pretty much all my years of exsistence I've been in school and I've always had something to do and always been told to do stuff and yada yada yada. As of May 22, 2010, that's no more. I don't know if I'm ready for that. And then, when I get to really thinking about that, I don't know what I'm ready for. I also don't know what'll happen to me after high school. I mean, you always hear about people leaving right after high school and going off and doing their own thing and all this jive, and never hearing from their high school friends ever again. I don't want that to happen. I mean, my high school friends are the awesomest ones anyone could ever ask for. I mean, I have friends that run into other people's classrooms just to get a phone number for me (jerkface. lol.) I've got friends that, even though they can be douchebags, are freaking hilarious to hang out with b/c they are always doing something retarded (I think I can forgive you now... I've got someone else to be mad at. haha. j/k about the mad part.) I've got friends who can laugh at the word "spoo-en" with me (or "Jesus Saves at Walmart"!!). All my friends are so friggin diverse that they keep all the random parts of me in check. I've got friends who do the greatest things for me, and I mean all of them at this point. They're all so great, and I'm just afraid that, after May 22, I'm never gonna hear from any of them again. I'm not gonna get to see them every day, and laugh at their stupidity every day. I don't know what my future holds, but I hope it holds the fact that I still talk to my high school friends.
I also had another realization during this moment...
I'm gonna grow up some day. I'm gonna grow up and be just as crabby as my mother and as goofy as my father (if I'm not already). I'm gonna be just as crazy as my sister, as retarded as my brother, make just as poor decisions as everyone in my family has before me. I want to be different, but we all know how well that's gonna work out. And, I mean, all I've ever known is being "a kid." That's all I've ever done, and I don't know how to do anything else better. I know I'm legally 9 months away from adulthood, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna BE an adult in 9 months. I'm friggin terrified to know what in God's name I'll become when I'm older. Who ISN'T scared of their future?

I'm NOT As Stupid As I May Seem...

Did you really think that you play me for stupid? I mean, really. I'm not as stupid as I may come off. I'm really not. Did you really think that you could get away with trying to go to prom with me, or whatever you may have been thinking, while you have a friggin girlfriend?
HAHA! You must underestimate me.
I have my ways of finding things out. I have my ways of knowing things. And I, unless you have forgotten, am a WOMAN, and can hold a grudge UNTIL I DIE. I've told someone else this before you, but hey, I'm gonna tell you too. I'm a woman who can hold a grudge. Don't think I'm going to forget this any time this CENTURY, really. I'm not even playing with you anymore. You arent worth my time, and I am so glad I found this out before I got in too deep. Thank God.
So yeah, I wouldnt even bother trying to do anything, like make amends. It would just be a waste of both of our time.
To the kidds who helped me find all this out:
THANKYOU!!!