What Really Matters To Me:

getting out of this bumfuck town!
actually DOING something that matters
making an impact
doing something worthwhile.
and i cant do that because im just like any other girl from a damn small town, im always just chasing after the guy.
and i cant do that because im just like any other girl from a damn small town, im always just chasing after the guy. and im not any better about it now.

i want the fairy tale ending, knowing damn well im never gonna get it.
im never gonna get it because im not one of "those girls." im just the girl that's too damn smart for her own good. the girl that always wants what she cant have. and ive come to accept that. but it still hurts like hell when i dont get what i want. and besides, im damaged goods, most people dont go and buy the damaged goods. im the can of yams you find in the back of the cabinet that expired in 2003. nobody wants me, so i just get tossed to the wayside. im a can of yams that expired five years ago. i do look past whatever is wrong with me. every day. but when it's thrown back in my face, it's hard not to agree. especially when thats been done for a good 17 years.
its always been pointed out to me whats wrong with me
what i do wrong
what i say wrong.
anything.
thats why i dont know how to take complements. i never got them very often.this whole "youre friggin georgous" thing is so NEW to me. im not used to it.i just agree with the people over the years that have told me otherwise. every-friggin-body has done it! its been 17 years, britany, do you really think that im gonna remember who all told me i wasnt pretty? just let it be said that it has been alot of people. people who dont matter now, but what they said still does. because i know that they said it. and it bothers me because i never feel like im good enough. ever.

See my problem? it's a little worse than anyone thought. Remember when i said im probably gonna need serious therapy before i got out of highschool? ha, well, the time has come.